am I missing something?

This observation of mine majorly arises from the fact that body dysmorphia only increases in people as their body image towards the outside gets better - which should actually be an implication of their body image getting better towards the inside. By towars the inside, I mean how one views themself as. 

I want a good looking body very much, but I don't grind enough for it, which on the surface looks like an indisciplined attitude; and to an extent it is that - but on a more root level, it's actually because I'm very very much comfortable with my current body image and how well it shines on the inside. That; and another reason being my very little fucks for how someone views my body. 

There is a strange stillness that comes with being at peace with myself. Almost like a quiet refusal to declare war on my body just because the world profits from dissatisfaction. In that stillness, there remains no no hunger for transformation; not because desire is absent, but because urgency is. When I'm no longer running from myself, progress stops feeling like survival and starts feeling optional, almost indulgent. And maybe that’s the real sin in a culture addicted to before after pictures. Where I choose not to despise the “before.”

On some level, significant self transformation requires hatred and anger towards yourself. It doesn't happen out of true compassion - it doesn't work on thhe same moral ground on which buying a blanket for a stray dog does. Self transformation of any kind - of whatever kind it may be - is built on some variant of self pity - which I feel like I lack. I do not hate myself enough to rebuild myself and in a world that treats self-loathing as a prerequisite for growth, that may be my quiet rebellion, or my most comfortable stagnation.