why is discipline a muscle

Remember the time you promised to not do something, and then went ahead to contradict yourself anyways AND for the first time, the guilt didn't crush you afterwards. 

read the above statements in xor operator format because i just looked at how 'scientific definition structural integrity' maintained I keep my daily statements and thoughts' expressions format.

"In my dreams, I'm dying all the time

Then I wake, it's kaleidoscopic mind" 

sorry for going into a thought spiral somewhere else

but this is what i came across - "my loneliness may be weighed through understanding - my need to explore the world (which is the evolutionary reason behind the conception of consciousness) has molded its exploration towards the inside - as i deprive it of the outside, inwards it looks to find me and one myself - the sudden birth of narcissism as a consequence of my consciousness' need to perceive and consume - for that's all that really is - consciousness is a form of hunger, OR RATHER, hunger is a form of consciousness".

Anyways this came from the video because I've been too consumed by the greed of spending time with my parents rather than living far away from them to work on myself.

when does a substance turn abusive, contrary to the opposite and more obvious meaning of the term "substance abuse"

In a lost land of self love, where there's no allowance for compassion - does arise the necessity for the birth of "abuse".

Only when youre hooked on a substance for too long, do you see it for the monster it's infamous for. Being hooked doesn't only claim the present but also - numerous instants from the future & hence strengthening the habit very easily.

The promise of a promising future - is the generalisation of the different variants of the same promise that both hardwork and a substance promise.

corporate comfort and the big cover up

"You zone out for longer periods of time", played over and over in my head as I locked my eyes with the mirror. Unable to stand upright and getting spun over the countertop acting as crutches.

I finally understood.