incepted

I'm quitting alcohol and reefer cold turkey - but only for a while.

This sudden decision was a product of an epiphany during today morning's shower and possibly the goosebumps the song "Porcelain' by Moby gave to me. While listening to the song, besides the lyrics, the only thought clouding my mind was that an idea planted deep enough into the mind, is much more potent than the hardest drug ~ something I heard in inception and also something that stuck to me.

Depersonalisation was an idea to me at some point. Today, I stand far away from that point. 

When I'm high - responsive stimuli tinkering with my nervous system floating around in the room manifests itself to become unmistakably real. The carpet and the drapes come to life while I delve into the lines between Kendrick's poetry. Tears burst outward like an open dam and I'm unable to stop my thoughts from continuously imploding on my conscious. The weight of the world pushes me to express my

thoughts as art but my hold back becomes my inability to paint. If this isn't real then what is?

This being precisely my point - depersonalization and detachment are concepts that I once knew but have now started to feel - when I'm sober of course.